How do you define and respond to failure?
As I reflect on the year gone this topic keeps coming to the surface
It is crucial, as it is a 100% given that we are not going to succeed at everything we do.
If you have achieved absolutely everything you wanted to do in 2016 then congrats and please drop me a line and tell me how you did it!!
However, in my experience It’s not always going to go to plan.
So how we choose to interpret and deal with those setbacks is so important in maintaining and building our self-esteem and confidence.
Some get so crippled by the fear of failing (or maybe it’s the fear of success?) that they feel massive resistance to even making a plan to achieve something; I know because I have been there!
And yes your automatic response to falling short of a goal may be ‘I’m a failure’ ‘what are others going to think of me’ ‘what’s the point in trying’ ‘nothing I ever do works’ ‘it’s not fair’ ‘it’s not my fault’ … insert any other unhelpful thought/excuse…!
This response may be so hardwired into you that the possibility of responding differently and feeling positive about failure may seem impossible. It’s not.
Remember that it is only your automatic response because you have probably been responding like this for a very long time and you were probably even taught to respond like this (hopefully not deliberately!).
It does not mean that your response and feeling cannot be changed and yes it can take a bit of effort.
Let’s remember that a thought is just a thought, you can choose the meaning.
You do have the power to change the story that you tell yourself.
You can change perspective
So how about this….
Understand that failing has just given you another way of how not to do it… which brings you one step closer to doing it a better way!
Find 3 positives for every 1 area you need to work on in everything you do. Crucial for maintaining your house of confidence.
Congratulate yourself on the efforts you did make.
Once you have taken the learnings from the situation then ACCEPT that what has happened has happened, take a deep breath and make a new better plan, using what you have learnt.
You have the power to make different choices next time.